Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
