i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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