I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just had sex on a roof
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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