Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
