Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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