I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
