OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Text me some of your sweat
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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