I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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