if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
