dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
