Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize