she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
