I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
