you would pick up someone in the library
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Randomize
