i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
