Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Bring me that man meat
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
