Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
