I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
