Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you will always have a special place in my vag
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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