taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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