Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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