you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
