I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
