I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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