She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Randomize
