so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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