id be glad to
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
