We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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