Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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