That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
