hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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