sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
