this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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