fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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