It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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