New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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