But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
