I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
