Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
