its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
