hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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