one might say we're banned from that church
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
