I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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