direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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