He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize