This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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