ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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