Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
