It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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