There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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