I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
