She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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