I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
