went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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