I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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