i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can't turn off my feet"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
