is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I will be naked everywhere
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
