yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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