dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
