i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
