You made me cry and you don't even care
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
