I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
