awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
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