I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We need to rekindle our bromance
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
