Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
