With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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