the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize