It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
