All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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