i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
