I wannas sexs uuuuu
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
