I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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