were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
