I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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